Problems Within the 1st Year of Marriage

     Marriages are tough and full of problems! Even the best of marriages have fights, and it doesn't necessarily mean that the couple has a bad relationship. It just means that the couple needs to work on things. It is important to realize that fights can make couples stronger! In the first month of marriage many couples will experience fights over things such as family, decisions, pets, and many other things. 

    Often times a newlywed couple will run into problems with family. Holliday season brings many obstacles to a newlywed couple. It is very hard to decide what family you should spend your holidays with. It is very difficult because often times the family that doesn't get to see you will get angry and jealous adding complications to the relationship. Families can be very hard on a newly married couple because they always want to give their opinion on every little thing. in a time when it is important for a couple to work through things and make decisions together and on their own. You will many times find your families trying to but in and do it all their way. They will also make it known that "their way is better" or "what the couple did was wrong." It is just a bunch of extra stress and negativity where no negativity and stress is needed. 

Another thing that leads to complication and fight within the first couple of months of a marriage is decisions. In making decisions it is very common to have a different idea or desire than your spouse. When two people aren't experienced a making joint decisions it will often lead to fighting, frustration, and stress. If a couple can work on decision making before getting married, they will have more experience and the process will go a lot more smoothly. A main value that is needed when making decisions is being able to listen to one another. If you can listen to your spouse's feelings and what they think then you can better relate from an emotional point of view. Many times, the frustration of feeling unheard tears and brakes down a couple. It is important that both members of the marriage feel heard and respected. 

Pets and children can bring tons of problems and obstacles into a new marriage. Many couples think and believe that bringing a pet or baby into the relationship will make things better or teach them how to be more responsible. This is often a very bad idea and can just cause more problems. A pet is a lot of work and needs a lot of attention. But what many people look past is that your spouse also needs a lot of attention and sometimes bringing something else in will only take attention away from your spouse. It is sad to come home from a hard day of work and want cuddles but walk in on your spouse cuddling a dog instead and ignoring you. And a baby usually makes it even more difficult than a pet will. When bringing a baby into a new marriage it usually stresses the couple out so much that they crumble. A baby is so much work and requires so much attention, not to mention they are very expensive. You also can't set your baby out in the back yard for the day while you go work like you might with a dog. Babies are life altering and to throw a baby into the life of a couple that has been married for less than a year could really cause some detrimental damage to that couple.

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